Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
thus making me awesome and them whores
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
