She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
