I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
