i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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