Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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