you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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