You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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