I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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