dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
did i walk over a car last night?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
