it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
