My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
