he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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