When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
