Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
