someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well I just put wine in my tea
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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