i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
