Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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