Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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