He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he thought i was a dude.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize