I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Buhtt sex?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
