well I can't set my house on fire every night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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