butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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