what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it was like eating out sand paper
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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