I hate your face
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
