I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
