Porn is love you can see.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When are your genitals available?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize