i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Two words: nipple clamps
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