Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
