You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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