Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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