i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
