$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
there's paper in my vomit.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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