I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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