drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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