Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
