I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
