elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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