I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
