wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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