Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Life is so much better after having sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
