she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
