You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
