btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
