He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
