so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize