Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
