I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
