i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he fucked my hip out of place.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
