All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
