I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize