I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
