she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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