Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
