She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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