Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
someone owes me an orgasm
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
