Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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