i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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