Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize