Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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