Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
