I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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