...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
MIDGETS
????
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
