Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
