I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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