Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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